If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
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is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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