I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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