other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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