he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
