I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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