Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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