Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
