apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
