i'm lost and i look like a hooker
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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