is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
