My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
