I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
