He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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