I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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