Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
