When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize