...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize