i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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