Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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