so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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