ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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