i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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