This girl is more easily done than said...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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