Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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