I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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