She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
