Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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