yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
