I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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