She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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