Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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