Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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