He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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