I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
