i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
