He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
