I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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