I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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