Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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