Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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