You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
