does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
home. puking in laundry basket.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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