She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
