every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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