Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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