dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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