Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
