he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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