She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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