I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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