who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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