i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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