Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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