Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think your dad took our porno
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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