So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
