so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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