my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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