but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
