I think i sorta joined a cult last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
