she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
