how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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