In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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