Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
