thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
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im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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