Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
