Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day