Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
