i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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