so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go