Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole