why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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