You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
